Which Pool Float Are You?

Let our highly unscientific guide tell you all you need to know

pool floats

Look, we’re not scientists, but we think we’re onto something here. A man’s choice of inflatable pool lilo type-thing says a lot about him – and, therefore, his style. Pick yours below and let us tell you everything that you never knew about yourself.

The chocolate donut

pool floats

Most-used emoji: OK hand sign

You don’t know that people describe you as: “together”

Most loyal to: Your barber

You’re a grown-ass man who’s come to enjoy the simple things in life. No judgement to those who want to use the summer months to consume their beverages through funnels, injected into watermelons or from beer pong cups with the ball freshly plucked from the top, but you’d rather kick back and enjoy something simpler, on ice. Your bills are paid and your beard connects. With nothing to prove (or an excellent ability to fake that that’s the case), your choice in pool float is classic: the good, old-fashioned chocolate donut with multicoloured sprinkles and a bite out of the side.

The peacock

pool floats

Most-used emoji: Laughing crying face

Friends describe you as: “driven”

Most loyal to: Your bros

Your workweek calls for Happy Socks, chinos and a tie, so weekends are all about making the most of your time off. Sure, you go a little over-the-top sometimes, but you didn’t spend all those nights in the library to not use the hard-earned cash on stuff you enjoy. A big believer in the “conversation starter”, you’ve got a poolside style that’s unashamedly bold, because you’re as serious about having fun as you are about hard work.

The black swan

pool floats

Most-used emoji: The black heart

You don’t know that people describe you as: “edgy”

Most loyal to: Mom

Most would think that you’re not the type to look forward to summer, but they’re underestimating your ability to adapt your aesthetic to any occasion. All-black fit beside the pool? Why not? And when it’s time to strip down to your (black) swimshorts, it’s just an opportunity to show off more of your tattoos. When not listening to Lil Uzi Vert and Jaden Smith, you see no harm in kicking back poolside. Hey, have you tried Instragramming the pool with a black and white filter?

The pineapple

pool floats

Most-used emoji: The pineapple, funnily enough

You don’t know that people describe you as: "Vanlife goals"

Most loyal to: Your long-term bae

Some people are not aware that for others, a season can define a person’s whole personality. They have not met you yet. You’ve been known to disappear for the winter, taking a second (or third, or fourth) gap year in another country, because although you hold a degree you’d really always rather be bartending alongside a remote beach than seated in an icily air-conditioned office. Relatedly, your favourite film is The Beach. Your style icon is 1995 Leonardo DiCaprio. You’re not prepared to entertain arguments about pineapple on pizza.

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