Pool Party Personalities

Words: Afrika Lethabo Bogatsu | Illustrations: Eva Faerch

The season we’ve all been waiting for is finally here, and with it comes longer days, fun in the sun and pool parties. With age and maturity they’re no longer about playing Marco Polo, backflips and seeing how long you can hold your breathe underwater. With that being said, they're still more than simply an opportunity to wear your cossie and chill next to a large body of water. For us, the best bit is all the interesting people you get to meet. Here’s our list of seven people you’re bound to encounter poolside this summer.

Carefree black girl aka Mrs 420

She’s woke AF, but she also really couldn’t care less about a lot of things. She’s just here for the free food and booze. She hates the stereotype about black people and swimming – she’s a great swimmer – but her natural hair doesn’t do well with chlorine, so she keeps it wrapped up.

What she's doing: lounging on a pool float or snacking on watermelon

Summer style staples: shorts, flatform sandals, accessories, bikini tops or one-piece swimwear

Body Goals Bianca aka Extra Becky

She’s got a great body (legs for days) and she doesn’t mind showing them off, much to the displeasure of those prone to jealousy. She prides herself on being “one of the boys”. She’s super sporty and unnecessarily competitive when it comes to, well, everything.

What she's doing: somersaults (why? No-one really knows)

Summer style staples: crop tops, graphic tees, bikini bottoms, hoodies, men's vests

Hypebeast aka The Skrr Skrr

He lowkey thinks he’s a celebrity because of his Twitter following, but he’s actually quite boring in real life. Luckily he’s a pretty boy so that makes up for it. He gives off slightly awkward and aloof vibes but it’s all part of his mack game. His style game, on the other hand, doesn’t seem as well thought-out. Why on earth did he show up to a pool party in white jeans and sneakers? But best believe they aren’t just any old sneakers – they’re the latest drop.

What he's doing: smoking Hookah or vaping, and making come-hither eyes at all the huns

Summer style staple: sneakers, G-Star Raw jeans, New Era caps

Mr Party aka Moreki

Your favourite sexy chubby brother. He's super charismatic and everyone loves him. He’s genuinely funny, down-to-earth and welcoming. He seems to have his life in order except for the summer body he’s been working on since 2nd year varsity. If he’s cooking (or just ordering a bucket of chicken), it’s going to be finger licking good. The booze never runs out when he’s around.

What he's doing: Making people laugh and ensuring there’s enough ice for the drinks

Summer style staple: shorts, slides, basic T-shirt or polo shirt

Selfie Queen aka The Bad Bad

Hair done, nails did, face beat to the gods. She did not come here to play. And, of course, to take gorgeous snaps for the ‘gram because good lighting and a great outfit can never go to waste. She does everything extra – she could very well show up in faux fur if she felt like it. Yeah, she’s at a pool party but there’s no way she’s going anywhere near water, not with her Peruvian weave.

What she's doing: Sipping on champers obviously.

Summer style staple: jumpsuits, freakum dresses, sunglasses, gladiator heels

The Pool Bomber aka The Drunk

Albeit a well-intentioned, decent guy, he’s also a bit of a creep: his friendliness borders dangerously on the edge of inappropriate. As the festivities progress he gets drunker, louder and increasingly problematic. He’s bound to throw a girl in the pool for “the gees” and get sworn at by everyone. He’ll then apologise and blame it on the liquor, but it’s his lack of self-control that’s the real issue.

What he's doing: annoying everyone and fighting his inner sad boy and the chest pains.

Summer style staple: swimming shorts, vests, button-up shirt (with buttons missing)

Pick Me, Babes aka Wifey Material

She probably came straight from her weekly volunteer work and it shows: her style is pretty conservative. She plans on bagging a future husband by making pap and dishing up salads for other people’s boyfriends. She doesn’t drink so she ends up using up everyone’s dash.

What she's doing: washing the dishes in the kitchen or judging the other girls

Summer style staple: maxi dress, sandals