Halloween costumes you didn’t even know you were wearing
By Hugh Upsher
Halloween isn’t that much of a big deal in South Africa, but that doesn’t stop people from dressing up. Whether it’s trying desperately to make a statement, or simply a product of a lifestyle that requires something of a uniform, a lot of people resort to dressing as a stereotype in order to put out a persona that they'd like to be perceived as.
Watch out, we got a badass over here! You’ve got the tattoos, leather jacket and probably a mean looking belt buckle to go with your new obsession with motorbikes. Axl Rose would totally approve. Even though you appear to be rock 'n' roll personified, you are the kind of person who apologizes for being five-minutes late to drinks. You strive to look like the dictionary definition of hardcore, but in reality you look more like an extra from a theater production of Grease.
Got jet-black hair and a choker necklace? Congratulations, you are now Goth! Your favourite movie as a teen was The Craft, and you won’t let anyone forget that. On the days where you feel like being especially witchy you go two shades darker on your already dark lipstick, or wear a witches hat, or post a selfie with your black cat, or put a hex on someone.
This isn’t so much a fashion statement as a facial expression and general vibe. It's a combination of being condescending, smug and thinking everything you say is really funny. Your signature look includes a designer golf shirt, a watch your dad bought you and an inflated sense of self worth. No one wants to hear your opinion on how you think the university students should be protesting.
We get it, you take shrooms. Irregular haircuts, exposed toes and being flaky are the key features of this look. Your wardrobe is a jumble of loose fitting bits and pieces you’ve picked up at organic markets and thrifted at hospice shops. You have the best intentions with your anti-corporation messages, but it’s hard to take you seriously when you own an iPhone 6 and rely on your parents to bankroll your spirit quests to South America.
This is a fairly new anti-fashion trend that is making non-waves. It’s basically dressing as if you’re a character in an American nineties sitcom like Friends or Seinfeld. The idea is to embrace the average by rocking ill-fitting jeans and a bland shirt. The more you look like an extra from the movie Empire Records the better. This look is often confusing with people who actually couldn’t care less.
Whatever your signature look is, try not to box yourself in too much. Committing to one look religiously can be exhausting for everyone involved. We know that deep down you’re not that one-dimensional, so there is no need to hide behind a character that doesn’t even exist.