27.05.2016

Trends that may never come back

Trends that may never come back (according to Hugh Upsher)

By Hugh Upsher

(Disclaimer: Some of the views expressed in this article are not representative of Superbalist’s opinions on current trends or the opinions of non-boardies-with-running-shoes-wearers around the country. In fact, our blog editor Dylan Muhlenberg is wearing camo right now. Hugh Upsher speaks in his own capacity, please proceed with caution.)

Fashion can be a fickle affair with trends rolling in and out in constant cycles. Most trends from previous decades generally tend to resurface periodically, like denim jackets or platform shoes. Unfortunately, not all trends are as lucky to see significant resurgences in popularity.

Camouflage

 

Wearing camo in a civilian capacity became socially acceptable thing to for a short period of time, featuring on everything from baggy pants to bomber jackets and vests. Today you would struggle to come across it anywhere outside of private security companies that take themselves too seriously, or big game hunters. These are not the type of people you associate with being style icons.

Fanny pack (AKA moon bag)

I’m not writing the moon bag out completely, but you have to be pretty confident in your fashion choices to group yourself amongst pensioners on holiday and trance party drug dealers. Despite its undeniable practicality, the front belly bulge is not a look 95% of the population should ever attempt to pull off. 

Tie-dye

Tie-dye has never really gone away, it has simply recessed back to its natural habitat of Knysna. The problem is tie-dye can’t be casually worn in public without drawing a massive amount of attention to the wearer thanks to its dangerously loud colours. We get it, you smoke weed, now can you please stop assaulting my eyes with your rainbow aesthetic.

Berets

There is no way of wearing a beret today without people thinking you’ve either become a French mime or are a member of the EFF. It's the most pretentious of all the headwear as it’s not quite a beanie and not really a hat. It lives in its own little world where the population should only ever be one: Samuel L. Jackson.

Chain wallets

This is a personal favourite of mine as it mixed street style with personal security. It was virtually impossible to get your wallet stolen when it was chained to your pants. The length of the chain always needed to correspond directly to the size of your bulky three-quarter pants. It was always (and kind of still is) popular amongst bass players of rock bands.

Frosted tips

This is a classic boy-band hairstyle that dominated high school dance photos for close to a decade. It was a little too high maintenance for me but was the sure-fire way to get all the right kind of attention from the ladies. Unfortunately, it’s impossible to rock this look without people assuming you’re trying to impersonate Guy Fieri.

Some looks are just too bold for mass appeal, but that won't stop BA students from trying them out in second year. In my mind, they won't be making a comeback in the foreseeable future but for now, we may as well silently judge anyone brave enough to try to pull off any of the above trends.