YOU BELONG TO LOVE

Words: Afika Jadezweni | Images: Supplied

A popular spritzer loved by many in South Africa, Brutal Fruit, recently launched an unexpected but welcome addition to their product offering - You Belong to Affect eau de toilette for women. Yes, a fragrance to tantalise another one of your senses.

As part of the You Belong To Affect campaign, we gave Superbalist.com shoppers the opportunity to win a one-on-one conversation with one of three local icons that have affected them; YouTubers Regomoditswe and Modise, Digital Creator Mpoomy Ledwaba, and Blogger Mmanaka Kelobonye.

The first of these winners is 21-year-old Thembelilhle Kweyama, who is a Joburg-based student. She got to enjoy a one-on-one conversation with couple Regomoditswe + Modise who co-produce a YouTube channel under the romantic portmanteau RegoDise. Their channel is abuzz with tales of their romantic journey, couple’s challenges, the ‘Story Time’ tag and of course, travel vlogs.

“We’re lifestyle and travel content creators. We advocate for love, we advocate for adventure,” explains Dise, Rego's husband.

The ethos of their content - as explained by Modise above - was palpable through the virtual chat they had with Thembelihle, as they were both very attentive to the other when their other half spoke, smiling gently or finishing each other’s sentences.

More than the couple's sense of adventure, what piqued Thembelihle’s interest in these content creators is their consistency. As a budding YouTuber herself, the Community Development + Leadership student explains; “Since I’ve now just started a YouTube channel, I wanted to meet with them because they’ve been consistent in content creation for a very long time.”

With Thembelihle in the editor’s seat for a day, she led the conversation, unveiling valuable lessons not only for herself but for you too.

Here’s what she learnt:

Image via Instagram: @lihle_mgabadeli

How do you set boundaries and ensure that people actually respect these boundaries?

Rego: We’re a married couple, so that’s already a boundary [to the public]. We set our own boundaries and one of the boundaries we set is making time for each other. We care so much about our followers, but even if we have content to film, we still set time aside for [date night]. Whatever you see on camera is the truth. It’s not a lie, it’s not pretense.

Dise: Adding on to what Rego has said; another thing that helps us is that we’re genuine - we’re transparent and authentic. So indeed, when we shoot our content, it’s not us putting on another hat. In this way, nothing is forced. We do also have intentional times where take a break and have alone time and not get lost in the world of content all the time.

How do you let people know - in the most respectful manner - that they shouldn’t overstep?

[The couple first probe about Lihle’s budding YouTube channel, who explains that she struggles with setting boundaries and would like to know how to when her channel gains more traction in the future]

Rego: You have your values and goals that you set for yourself and it’s hard for some people to respect that. There will always be someone who will [try to challenge those values] and you should just stick to who you are because once you start listening to too many people, you’ll sway and end up not being true to yourself.

I think for me, it’s about reminding yourself daily what these values are. Maybe write them down and stick them on your wall, or mirror and remind yourself. This way, when someone says something, it won’t bother you because that’s what people wanna see and that’s okay - people see things differently. Stay firm in your rules and your values.

Dise: Take in what other people say and thank them for their viewpoint and maybe say; "I’ll consider addressing it in an upcoming video. Understand that once you put yourself out there like we have, people see you as a living, walking encyclopedia, so they wanna know a little bit more because you’re so valuable to them. Be sensitive and say it in a kind way.

When you started your YouTube channel, were there moments where you were reluctant to share certain kinds of content?

Dise: We’ve had a lot of topics that we’ve thought about and we’ve been approached with certain topics to consider that we may sometimes not be ready to discuss. Because we’re married, people might ask when we’re having a baby, why we're taking so long to have a baby, or how much [I paid] for lobola. We often don’t address [those kinds of questions] immediately and we like to be in a position where we’re in control. If our hearts feel right and we’re comfortable sharing and imparting that information…

Rego: ... we’re younger and people have to understand that we’re still growing, so we want to have fun. For example; drinking. Some people might frown upon the fact that we’re Christian but we drink wine. But I know my limit. I know my values. It is difficult, there’s a lot of fear, and people can misinterpret things. Ultimately, you need to understand that we’re living our lives and what we show you is our true marriage. Our audience can see that we have our time to ourselves, and we have our time of being serious. It’s the balance of life.

More on personal values…

Dise: We’re careful not to mislead. We're very careful not to put out content that can contradict, especially spiritual and religious topics.

That said, are you open to collaborations with all kinds of content creators?

Rego: With regards to collaborations, I’m very strict in the sense that I don't do a collaboration [for the sake of it]. I like to get to know the people first and have coffee so that we’re more comfortable by the time we shoot together. It’s not just a transaction. This way, there’s authenticity on the camera too.

Dise: We also ensure that our values align as well - on a content level. If we collaborate with someone, we ensure that person’s content also aligns with what we do. More importantly, what is the purpose of the collaboration? If it doesn’t need to be on social media, we can meet up and be friends instead.

What does being a part of the Superbalist x You Belong campaign mean to you? Is it about taking up space?

Rego: It’s so important to feel like you belong and that you are unique as you are. Don’t ever feel intimidated by anyone or anything. What you do is important to someone, so never worry about how many people are watching. We didn’t worry about who was watching or how many subscribers we have when we started. We wanted a community of people we can share [wholesome content] with. So you belong - no matter what.

Dise: At the very least, there’s at least one person who’s interested in what you have to say and the story you have to tell. You’re here, you have a purpose, you belong.

To expand on this, as a married couple, how do you feel kike you belong in the context of love?

Rego: [Turns to Dise and they both laugh] Baby, you should take this one because you’re Mr Lover”.

Dise: I think I have something to offer and something to help build my wife, and it’s intrinsic. It’s like a puzzle. There’s so much that I have to give or need to give and therefore I need a companion to offload that kind of love on to...

Rego: To build on that, we personally see each other as though we need each other because we both have so much to offer. He has some things and so do I. And together, we achieve our goals…

Dise: … and help build one another as individuals as well. And if I have blindspots, she’s my co-pilot and vice versa.

A TWoU aside: We told you they finish each other's sentences.

How do you create a balance between prescriptive couple's content and simply sharing lifestyle content? Additionally, how do you do it without content fatigue?

Rego: We do get fatigued, but we love it. In the beginning, we did it so genuinely that we ended up seeing that there was a space for this. When people relate, then we bring that to life even more proudly. People are scared - and black people especially - didn’t necessarily get advice from their parents about what to do in a relationship.

Dise: Honestly speaking, we’re a whole bag of fun that needs to explode. There’s so much that we want to give and that’s the art of it. We hope to inspire and motivate - nothing is forced. We see it as purpose.

Rego: It stems from the fact that a lot of black love is not shown. A lot of our grandmothers and grandfathers didn’t show affection and for us to be able to show that on our platforms is an affirmation that it is okay to be loved, to show that affection, and to encourage love. It makes me happy.