Superb Women Part 3

Words: Kholeka Kumalo | Photography: Gemma Sheperd | Hair + makeup: Michelle Moolman

We have a firm eye on what it means to be a South African woman every day of the year, the good and the bad. Women’s Month presents a much-needed opportunity to embrace how far we’ve come, where we now stand and what the future holds – on our terms. Our SUPERB WOMEN series showcases the powerful, dynamic, life-giving bonds forged between women who continuously show up for each other in the best ways. Women who consistently uphold and uplift each other, big time, no matter the decade. We’re propelled through life by the strength of our women ties – our sisterly ties – whether by blood or bond.

Meet Talia Ramkilawan, an exhibiting artist and teacher, and Boni Mnisi, a feminist filmmaker and conceptual artist. Theirs is a soul connection that kicked off on the Waiting Room dancefloor, thanks to a shared love of the same kind of beats (likely something by Missy Elliot or Lil Kim), which flowed into an appreciation for the arts, which spilled over into a desire to make room and build spaces for their ideas and the people around them. Scheming and planning and bringing beautiful ideas to life, both together and apart. They rope each other into creative projects (aka put each other on), look out for each other, keep each other in check with home truths – and never feel the pressure to perform friendship, even though they live in the same building.

BONI: Do you remember how we met?

TALIA: It was an event at Waiting Room. I was organising all the DJs and sound.

BONI: Oh, I forgot about that!

TALIA: I had to fill in for someone who flaked. And you came up to me and were like, “Who are you? Can you DJ for our event?”

BONI: *laughs* I didn’t say that… “Who are you?”

TALIA: That’s how that happened!

BONI: Around that time, we’d started a zine called This Is What Makes Us Girls and we were trying to put together our first party and I was looking for women DJs. I found you, which was really exciting, because you played all the music I love. So I guess I did fangirl a bit and then ask you to DJ. That was the first time we met. And then you taught me how to DJ. I had this gig out of nowhere and I’d never touched a CDJ and you said, “Calm down, come to Waiting Room, I’ll show you what to do.” And ja… you also contributed to our zine. That was even the Bubblegum Club cover.

TALIA: There’s a lot of pressure when it’s family. You have to like them. You have to agree with everything they say. It’s cheesy, but you do get to choose your friends and that sisterhood. I think that’s what’s always been great. It never has to be a thing of, “Ugh, you’re my sister.” We always challenge each other.

BONI: I think… I don’t know how to define sisterhood, but I guess it would be being comfortable with someone. I find with you, we don’t talk a lot and we also burn through so many topics when we do.

TALIA: Even though we live in the same building.

BONI: I know! But that’s the thing. I think with anyone else, I would feel bad because I normally go to your place when there’s a crisis at mine. I never think you’re going to think I’m using you. I know it’s chilled, I know you’re happy to help and I don’t feel like we have to do a lot to maintain our bond. We’re friends, but there’s no pressure to be on each other’s case all the time. Sisterhood to me with you means looking out for each other and doing everything we can to help each other propel ourselves.

TALIA: We’re always scheming and planning, like, “We should have this exhibition!” And some of those things have come into fruition. A lot of those spaces that we wanted to create have… you’ve pulled them out of I don’t know where. You always pull through in terms of creating a space for your ideas and the people around us. It’s amazing.

BONI: Aww, thank you. I don’t know what to say after that. Wait… what was the question? Based off of one interaction... when you did an interview for a web series I was working on with Koek Sista. You have this thing where you don’t call yourself an artist. It’s really weird and unsettling, because you’re not just an artist, you’re an exhibiting artist! I’d like to think that I try and push you to identify that way more.

TALIA: Definitely.

BONI: Because you’re so good! Humble for what, Talia?

BONI: I think Women’s Month has been co-opted, so I have a weird relationship to it. On a basic level it’s great and important, but it is disappointing to know that we’re going to do this every year. August comes around and suddenly it’s women on the brain and it’s this one huge campaign and then it’s conversation over. So, I don’t love it, but I recognise the importance of it, I guess, if the people… and by people, I mean brands... if the participation is genuine and coming from a place of empowerment and upliftment. Then it’s cool. I like the content during the month of August, though.

TALIA: A lot of South African holidays are like, “Okay, yes, it’s great on a surface level to have this specific day for this specific thing, but what are we actually doing?” I was in a class once observing a lesson... one of the English teachers teaching poetry. He was talking about Sharpeville. And kids in a Grade 11 class didn’t know about Sharpeville and didn’t know that Human Rights Day was in March. It’s hectic. In school assembly, you’ll sit and they’ll say, “It’s Women’s Month, celebrate women, yay,” but it’s very superficial.

BONI: Being a strong woman is a pretty loaded one for both of us as women of colour. There’s this expectation that we can handle anything and that means that we can’t be vulnerable or weak. I dunno? I wish that I could have better relationships with the term, but I think that it’s very often used against women of colour. It’s hard to want to be seen as strong, but I think that just the social climate that we’re in right now is redefining what it means to be a strong woman. Doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t cry or that you hide your… were going to say something?

TALIA: No, I was just agreeing with you. As a woman of colour, being called strong is often a bit backhanded, because at the same time they’re saying you’re difficult, too opinionated, too loud and you have too much to say. But at the same time, if you’re the only brown person in the room and something’s being said and you’re not speaking up about it, because you’re supposed to be the spokesperson on all that’s wrong in the world, it’s also...

BONI: Ja.

TALIA: Ja.

BONI: Ja…