You look good, but how does your fashion knowledge weigh up?
Words: Dylan Muhlenberg
Google’s A Year in Search revealed the most searched for terms of 2014, and thanks to this asset we now know that while Kim Kardashian didn’t manage to break the internet (she was only the second most Googled person in the world after Jennifer Lawrence), a whole lot of people broke our faith in humanity when they Googled “How to bath”. What fascinated us were the most searched-for fashion trends, some of which left us as puzzled as the abovementioned lack of basic hygiene. We’ve put together a little quiz that includes the Top 20 fashion trends of last year, so that you can see how much you know. Or don’t know. (no Googling).
1. What is the trend of 'acting basic' through neutral clothing in order to avoid standing out?
C. Durban Ballie
2. Mesh, moisture-wicking fabrics, BioWare, body enhancement tech, prosthetics, shoe dipping, performance wear brands, transparent clothing, light weaponry and tactical gear all make up what?
A. Dan Bilzerian’s Walk-In Closet
B. Health Goth
C. Zombie Apocalypse Kit
D. Oscar Pistorius’ Overnight Bag
3. If those plain T-shirts and sweats that people have been buying for years had better tailoring and marketing, it could be called...?
A. Appropriate to wear leggings as pants
C. Juicy Couture
4. The 1980s Casio calculator watch was the original worn electronic. What is it being referred to now?
A. Steve Urkeling
C. CAICAET: Clothing and accessories incorporating computer and advanced electronic technologies.
D. Beyond 2000
5. This anxiety-inducing summer staple draws the eye to the thinnest part of the body and contrary to what most of you think is flattering to almost every body type.
A. Capri pants
B. Crop top
C. High tops
D. Muffin top
6. Originally created as a man’s riding boot in the 15th Century, providing additional protection for the legs, which fashion item became the must-have boot for women?
A. Fisherman’s waders
B. Over-the-knee boots
C. Moon boots
D. Riding boots
7. Which was not a designer collaboration?
A. Valentino x Gap
B. Tom Ford x Jay Z
C. Net-a-Porter x Target
D. Jil Sander x Uniqlo
8. This classic print from the Highlands runs the gamut from classic to grunge and was a fashion favourite last year.
9. This voluminous skirt finishes at the slimmest part of your leg, usually above or below the knee, and one should always balance it by keeping your top half fitted.
A. Pencil skirts
B. Full skirts
C. Flirt skirts
D. Bubble skirts
10. Who of the following is not a street style photographer?
A. Tommy Ton
B. Pieter Hugo
D. Yvan Rodic
11. Raf Simons, Lanvin, Marc Jacobs, Lukhanyo Mdingi and Dior all took a shine to this holographic, mermaid inspired look that when catching light turns one colour into many.
12. This backless, often closed-toe shoe is also the most efficient way to kick ass.
C. Pony boots
13. Which of the following is NOT a fashion sneaker?
A. Y-3 Qasa Hi
B. Tom Ford Pop Molly
C. Common Projects Achilles Low
D. Margiela Replica Mid
14. Which breathable fabric was more likely to be found on football fields and basketball courts than the runway? Until now.
A. Number jerseys
15. What is the name of the sorta-skirt, Franken-pant that causes wide-legged panic amongst shorter women?
16. What is the collective term for people wearing a look originating from a small group of clothes focused on working-class men living in 1960s London?
D. Teddy Boys
17. Is embroidered denim okay?
B. For now
D. Only on the back pocket
18. This fashion obsession from the 70s is not just for superheroes, offering function to your laidback festival look.
A. Conical Bra
C. Underwear as outwear
D. Gladiator sandals
19. Which fabric was big in the 90s and celebrated for its warmth, richness, and comfort?
20. What is the name for leather with a napped finish – commonly used for jackets, shoes, shirts and other items?
Give yourself one point for every correct answer. Put your Woolies card in your mouth lengthways and then slap yourself every time you get something wrong and say “Sorry, Pharrell.”
1 - 20 = B
You’re always invited to sit front-row at fashion shows, have dog-sat Gavin Rajah’s pooch, have been name-dropped by Tammy Tinker and know the exact circumference of what size polka dot to wear next season.
Your friends are always asking to borrow your clothes. The answer is always the same – 'no' – but that doesn’t stop them from asking.
You have more than one local retailer’s store card in your wallet and have been known to buy whole outfits off of shop front mannequins.
Last year you Googled “How to bath”, didn’t you?