16.06.2015

Weekly Web Boners

Dad bods, chicken legs, exposed nipples, Cinderella Rocafella and more

Miley Cyrus Poses Naked With Pig

Paper magazine, them of the Break The Internet Kim K cover, have put a naked Miley Cyrus – covered in mud and accompanied by her pet pig – on their latest edition. Magazines won’t die. The lame ones will fade into irrelevance while publications like Paper keep us interested and entertained by getting weirder and weirder.

 

Cinderella Rocafella

Leading up to their Chrome Tapes EP, Christian Tiger School has blessed us with “Chorisolo” (remember the running dogs?), a premix EP, and now a hauntingly beautiful video for “Cinderella Rocafella”, which is a visual ode to Joy Division’s Unknown Pleasures album cover art with its bendy movement and seismic shifts.

Less Walls and More Bridges

An EDM DJ that we’d never heard of before, Ten Walls, became known to us last week after his homophobic Facebook post made the news. The result was the internet going nuts, Ten Walls getting dropped from every show and sponsor and even the Lithuanian president calling him a stupid man. Said an eccie-chewing, molly-popping, 128 bpm raving kid who is into this sort of stuff: “I really liked how he pushed play, but come on, that was pretty stupid, even for an EDM DJ.”

AKA Dick

AKA has been acting like a dick on Twitter again, this time bragging about being in Europe like he just discovered the place. Remember when he posted a pic of his crayfish lunch and then asked his followers how they were enjoying their King Pies? Well now he’s sent several tweets throwing shade at iFani, showing his class by comparing his German beer to iFani’s Redds and his time in East London to iFani’s time in East London. Pretty childish behavior, sure, but when you consider that dude gets paid to shout nursery rhymes for a living, what did you expect?

Dad Bods

Derick Watts & The Sunday Blues dropped a new video, an ode to the Dad Bod, which is A: timely, because Fathers Day is coming up and the mustachioed and tattooed one, Nic, wrote about being a dad for The Way of Us, and, B: hilarious. We think the ending is a bit suss, although we must commend Nic for getting so fat for the role (or was that a stunt-boep?).

Jawbone vs Fitbit

Jawbone has taken Fitbit to court. Again. This is the second lawsuit in two weeks and this time the fitness tracker is saying that rival Fitbit infringed on its paywall patent. Fitbit, who reported a net income of $745.4 million, makes wearable devices that act as heart-rate monitors, pedometers and sleep monitors. Jawbone has $237.8 and makes a variety of products including fitness trackers and audio speakers. Power Balance, worth R7.45 and makes the person wearing it look like a fool, could not be reached at time of publication because the CEO was busy standing on one leg and showing off his product to a man waiting for the bus.

Dan Bilzerian Skips Leg Day

Guy might have more money, more women, more guns and more Instagram followers than you – oh, and a goat, we WISH we had a goat – but there is one area where you might top Dan: the leg department. Posting a rare pic where he wasn’t wearing his trademark cargo pants, Bilzerian caused his followers to note and comment that he seems to skip leg day. And, sure, that sounds like sour grapes, probably because it is.

Free the Nipple

A group of gap year students are in big trouble after they posed in their undies on top of Mount Kinabalu, a prominent mountain on the island of Borneo in Southeast Asia. Photographs of the group circulated on social media and Sabah deputy chief minister Joseph Pairin Kitingan blamed the act for causing a subsequent 5.9 magnitude earthquake that killed 18 climbers. The funsters were deported and slapped on the wrist with a hefty fine.