05.05.2015

Weekly Web Boners

What cannibals, Beliebers, Nazi sympathisers and Ross from Friends have in common

Hadley Freeman over at The Guardian asked the big question: Since when did music festivals become al fresco fashion shows?

This contorted our facial features into all sorts of furrowed brows and hmm-hmm faces. Then we looked at our friends’ AfrikaBurn pics and discovered that either the Burn wasn’t a music festival, or 10 000 freaks didn’t read the memo about music festivals being al fresco fashion shows.

The Gugulethu Cannibal, Andrew Chimboza, was convicted of killing a 62-year old and eating his heart. While we don’t want to use this space to report the grisly things that we read about all too often, it must be noted that there seems to be a trend emerging wherein South African baddies being sentenced to years behind bars all seem to be wearing hoodies by Uzzi.

On a lighter note, Courtney Cox hinted that it’s that bleak, sad-sack, killjoy Ross who is standing in the way of a Friends reunion. Which is even more reason to have Joey as your favourite Friend.

And then, putting the ‘Auschwitz’ in ‘Wits’ was Wits University’s SRC president Mcebo Dlamini, who wrote in a Facebook post “I love Adolf Hitler”. He attempted to save himself by spouting more gibberish, saying that what he meant was that he didn’t necessarily love Hitler, but instead he loved Hitler’s charisma and his organisational skills – before putting the other foot in his mouth by saying, “We need more leaders of such calibre.” Riffing on material too good to be true, @DeepFriedMan tweeted, “I mean, credit where credit is due. Stalin had a great mustache and Mussolini made the trains run on time.”

Casey Neistat published his 035th blog – Zero F*cks What People Think – and, besides the “I (heart) Camps Bay” sticker at 1:08, we really liked how he introduced us to our new favourite Tumblr – Thingsorganizedneatly.tumblr.com (it’s won a Webby!) and then we especially loved the ‘Ask Me Anything’ segment. According to nice-guy Neistat, “Judgemental people are of a lower moral authority than those who don’t judge. And we, people who don’t judge, we have a responsibility to crush, to destroy, those mean judgmental bullies. And we do that with an overwhelming positivity, and, we do that with our extreme open mindedness. And when you subscribe to those values you really stop caring what other people think.”

And just like that, The Way of Us had a mantra…

British politics has taken a break from being outright depressing to be hilarious and terrifying as Labour leader Ed Milliband gained a small but dedicated (to put it mildly) following. The #Millifandom went about tweeting messages of devotion. Flower crowns ensued, and then found their way onto school project posters, though it remains to be seen whether Millibae’s election results will be fleek. Well, it seems only fair that the Brits be allowed to take a break from reading about the Royal Baby. (We'll save you a click, it's arrived, and it's name is Charlotte Elizabeth Diana of Cambridge). 

And here’s one for all you Beliebers - Justin Bieber has announced his involvement in Zoolander 2, which promises to be awesome with or without the pop-star’s involvement.